Through the Rain
One of my friends Susie always complains to me about the tense atmosphere in her family. Her father used to ban her listening to pop music, which in his opinion is nothing but cultural garbage. What's more, he forced her to listen to the Peking Opera with him. And she had to pretend to enjoy it a lot in order to please him. At the same time, her mum once in a while read her diary, which she claimed that she did all this just to make sure Susie was fine and happy. Susie used to quarrel with her parents, but now she keeps silent. Once Susie confided to me, "The dead silence in the house nearly chokes me. "
All this results from the generation gap. One current belief held by the majority of people is that the disparity in age of more than 3 years will give rise to the problem of generation gap.Nowadays, it is a common social phenomenon in China and a hot issue for newspapers, magazines and TV shows. In the discussions, one thing they have all ignored is that the generation gap is unavoidable.
There are numerous reasons why generation gap exists.
First, people grow up in various social circumstances in which they form their unique characters, for the education and social background exert great influence on one's way of thinking and world outlook. That's why Susie's father prefers Peking Opera--the traditional form of arts in China, while Susie is a crazy fan of the pop music and rock & roll, which is popular with all teenagers.
Another reason is that people change, as they grow older.After years of hard work, our parents surely look forward to a stable and peaceful life. Vigor and enthusiasm waned as they age. On the contrary, we're standing at the starting point of our lives. No doubt, we're eager to discover the brand new world opening to us, and long for competition and challenge. When it comes to the decision-making in life, divergence between our parents and us emerges.
As far as I am concerned, the most determinate factor of all is that the generation gap reflects the young's desire to be independent of the old. Take my story as an example. One of the privileges you get from studying in a foreign language school is that you may have an opportunity to be recommended to enter one of the top-ranking universities in China, without taking the Entrance Exam.Well, my parents suggested that I take this opportunity so as to play it safe, for fear that I might perform not well enough in the Entrance Exam. I can still remember the eager desire from the bottom of my heart to make my own decision, to choose my own way and to be responsible for my own life. Without careful consideration, I turned down their sugges-tion, making them worry a lot. After months of intensive study,I, luckily, touched my goal and entered Fudan university.
Taking into account all the factors, we may draw the conclusion that the generation gap cannot be filled up. But something has to be done to make the domestic wheel spin smoothly.The key is communication. Only through hearty communication can we go through the rain and see the colorful rainbow in the clear-blue sky. At the far end of the rainbow, our parents and we can happily go hand in hand.
簡 評
代溝是每一個家庭的話題，王汗青同學認為代溝就仿佛一場雨季，總會雨過天晴，溝通是解決代溝的關鍵，而彩虹象征著沖突的結束。
王汗青同學命題有創意，“throughthe rain”是對代溝的描述和概括，與之相呼應的是結尾的比喻，也成為文章的點睛之筆，“Only through hearty communication can we SO throughthe rain and see the colorful rainbow in the clear-blue sky.At the far end of the rainbow，our parents and we can happily go hand in hand.”文章選擇了以一典型代溝事例開始，自然生動，避免了平淡論述的蒼白，容易引起讀者的共鳴，而一句引述“The dead silence in the house nearly chokes me.”更牽動了讀者的心，使文章取得了事半功倍的效果。通常恰到好處的例證會使論述更有說服力，感染人，而一句引言或比喻往往成為文章的點睛之筆，使文章飽滿，豐富。
文章採納了例證論述的寫作方法，第一個例證恰當，有力，能抓住細節，如日記、國劇，流行音樂、沉默幾個有代表性的關鍵點。但第二個例證卻顯得缺少說法力，代溝是指溝通的障礙，是超出了正常的溝通範疇，是指溝通的盲區，而不是意見的不一。文章未能勾畫出沖擊的場面。例證顯得沒有說服力，可以嘗試抓住一兩個沖突的點來描述，比如事件過程中的僵持或冷戰或沖突中的經典對話等，以突顯事件過程中的代溝問題。