My Roommate
It was my first day at the university. Carrying bags of luggage, I walked slowly into the dormitory building. I looked door after door for my name. At last I found it. In the room, there was already a girl making her bed.
Smiling shyly, she greeted me with "how do you do".Then, she continued her work, paying no more attention to me."What a stuck up fellow", I thought. Then I began to examine the room. It was no different from any other room I had seen.But it had been thoroughly cleaned by my new roommate, no doubt.
Minutes later, I started to examine her. She was thin, short and dark. Her hair was in a completely disastrous mess like a bunch of straw. Her dirty clothes and tired look were clearly signs of a long journey. Well, her 2"shirt was too big for her and her trousers were a bit short, which made her look funny.Furthermore, she wore a pair of rubber scandals, which were indeed out of fashion. In a word, she did not look like a smart freshman at all. "A yokel", I concluded.
The second time she spoke, her accent told me that she was from the south. "Shall I help you to get your luggage from the ground floor?" I did not refuse since I really needed help. Wow!She was quick in action. Before I said "Thanks", she had already walked out of the room and was soon far ahead of me.
"A good guy," I said to myself, "I will make friends with her. "I hurried and caught up with her.
簡 評
本文作者通過細致的觀察和生動的語言，使一個淳樸少女的形象躍然紙上。作者敘述了上大學的第一天對室友的第一印象。有外表的描寫：黝黑瘦弱矮小、頭發像一團亂草堆、穿著不合身的衣褲和過時的涼鞋。由此，作者得出的結論是她是個“鄉巴佬”。有語言的描寫："how do you do"，"Shall l help you to get your luggage from theground floor?"，雖然言語不多，但讀者能感受到這是一個熱心善良的女孩。還有行動的描寫：整理完自己的床鋪後，幫作者搬行李，表現出她勤勞淳樸的一面。因此，作者最終產生了要和她交朋友的想法。本文字數不多，情節簡單，但作者成功地塑造了室友的形象：身材矮小，但有著高大的形象;衣著過時，但有一顆美麗的心靈，與作者相成了強烈的對比。作者對語言的運用自如，有扎實的語言功底。文章讀來沒有晦澀生硬之感。
(點評教師：黃鶯)