A Girl
Parks are my favorite places to go. Bathed in the warm and gentle sunshine, I lie on the lawn, holding a poetry book in my hand to read. Occasionally, my attention is drawn away from the book to the scene around me, which is unique in spring.Thought there"re birds singing, grass swinging, and flowers smiling, one sharp white figure is gradually taking up my whole view. It"s a girl, dressed in a white gown, walking slowly to wards me. Breeze brushes my face, and carries the aroma from the girl.
She is strolling down the path while her figure is rising and falling so smoothly and peacefully. The rhythm of her move ments composes an elaborate melody. Her soft hair flows down to her waist, on which the sunshine casts a light of ring. The gown outlines her pretty curves. Her skin looks so delicate that it, I"m sure, must feel as smooth as silk.
Now she is in my reach, only a foot from me. My heart beating in excitement, I swiftly jump up, and bow a little just in the way gentlemen do, motioning a greeting to her. As a response, she turns around and gives me a smile, which reveals her gentleness a desirable character, not judged by appearance but fully perceived by what you find in her eyes. She continues walking and soon is out of sight, but I"m still there, realizing that there is really something left inscribed in my heart.
簡 評
本文的作者用細膩的文筆描寫了他在公園中有一面之緣的一位女孩，並真實地袒露了一個情竇初開的男孩的心理世界。作者將鏡頭聚焦在這位從遠處緩緩走來的女孩：首先映入眼簾的是一個白色的身影，邁著有節奏的步伐，散發出陣陣芳香。女孩漸行漸近，作者觀察到了她在陽光的映襯下柔軟的頭發，優美的身材曲線，絲一般光潔的皮膚，溫柔的笑容等。作者對自己內心世界的描寫生動而真實：當女孩走近時，他心跳加速，目送她走出視野後，仍感到有什麽東西銘刻在心，自然地流露出愛摹之情。文章篇幅不長，美麗的女孩和情竇初開的男孩的形象卻深入人心。
文章的語言非常優美，很富有想像力。例如，在作者眼中，The rhythm Of her movements composes an elaborate melody;Her skin looks sO delicate that it，I"m sure，must feel as smooth as silk等。這是描寫人物的文章中的一篇佳作。
(點評教師：黃鶯)