A Person I Admire——Franklin Roosevelt
Times need heroes, and heroes stand out. Franklin Roose velt is just a hero of the times. Well known for his unprecedented 13 years as the President of U. S. , he is regarded as a savior of America. However, it is not his brilliant achievements that attract me. What I really admire are some qualities shining in his whole life such as fortitude, courage and also his amiability.
His early time, I mean before his forties, was smooth. He was born rich and had a happy marriage. After graduating from Harvard, he served in the Navy. At that time, he had already shown his remarkable leadership and since his uncle was a President, he would surely enter the political arena. But everything changed when he was 39. Healthy and strong as he was, he was attacked by polio after swimming, which caused the life long de formity in his legs. It was extremely hard for this ambitious man to face the misfortune. He was, of course, in a bad mood and wanted to give up all his dreams at first. Then, after careful thinking, he finally decided to bestir himself. He was not a man
easy to surrender. Again he took part in political activities and,at the same time, practiced standing up and then walking with a stick. Eventually this brave man won the battle against fate. He became the only disabled President in American history and unprecedentedly served four terms. All should be attributed to his fortitude.
"The only thing we fear is fear itself." This famous saying now has spread all over the world and encouraged lots of people.Roosevelt first said it, and as a great leader, he made all his people believe it. He practiced what he preached for he was surely a courageous person challenging the tradition. He formulated new policies to help his nation out of the Depression. He declared war against Fascists though most of the Congressmen opposed him at that time. All proved that he was right for his courage was not rash but based on careful thinking. "A leader is one who dares to dream, and then, dares to achieve."
He was great, but not great in appearance. He looked like a kind grandpa at the first sight. He initiated the fireside chat to express his ideas and explain his policies in a relaxed atmosphere on radio. He always smiled sincerely when speaking and listening. These didn"t lower his prestige but made him amiable and welcome.
He is surely not a perfect man no one can be perfect.Every age has its hero in the forefront, just like Franklin Roosevelt a man I admire.
簡 評
本文記敘了作者心目中崇拜的人——美國前總統羅斯福。文章主要圍繞他的毅力，勇氣和和藹可親三種品質來展開。首先，作者以平實流暢的語言表現了他得了小兒麻痹症後如何戰勝自我，重拾信心，身殘志堅，並史無前例地四次當選美國總統的頑強毅力。其次，作者描述了羅斯福總統帶領美國人民向傳統挑戰，度過經濟大蕭條時期，並不顧多數國會議員的反對向法西斯宣戰的巨大勇氣。最後，作者又表現了羅斯福總統和藹可親的一面，他真誠的笑容和他以爐邊談話的形式通過電波與美國人民在輕松的氣氛中進行交流。
本文還引用了羅斯福總統的名言佳句，如“The only thing we fear is fear itself.”’“A leader is one who dares tO dream，and then，dares toachieve.”等，增加了文章的說服力。
但文章仍需在以下幾個方面有所改進：一、段落之間缺少承上啓下的自然銜接(transition)，意義的轉折顯得生硬，比較突然。恰當地運用銜接手段可以將幾個段落有機地結合成一個整體。二、段首最好能有依據概括大意，點明中心的主題句(topic sentence)，使讀者對每一段的內容一目了然。三、第二段對羅斯福生平的介紹稍稍過長，破壞了文章整體的結構平衡，不妨將一些與主題無關的句子刪去，效果會更好。
(點評教師：黃鶯)